Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
