How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
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Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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