Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
