every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
