she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
