Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.