About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.