there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize