My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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