Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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