i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
