i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
