I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
