Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
worst night to have a conscience
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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