my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
