What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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