Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
