i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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