Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
