someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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