awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
