i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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