Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
