The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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