when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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