why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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