Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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