Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize