What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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