So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
