Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize