The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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