my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
