Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
