come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
