A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
