There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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