My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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