Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
