ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
