So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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