I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
