You made me cry and you don't even care
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
