I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
