she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We are two peas in an std pod
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
