Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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