Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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