and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there