Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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