I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?