Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.

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  (508): i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker. http://tfl.nu/03y7
  Replies (5) Good night (776) Bad night (863)
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  (518): View more from New York

  haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting

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  (518): haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting http://tfl.nu/19oh
  Replies (20) Good night (2336) Bad night (780)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.

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  (705): Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant. http://tfl.nu/28ci
  Replies (2) Good night (683) Bad night (3122)
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  (315): View more from New York

  in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."

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  (315): in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me." http://tfl.nu/9q0b
  Replies (4) Good night (3996) Bad night (716)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...

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  (312): She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it... http://tfl.nu/f47h
  Replies (8) Good night (953) Bad night (2071)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.

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  (513): I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem. http://tfl.nu/o14u
  Replies (6) Good night (929) Bad night (1895)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  he ran through my sliding door

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers

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  (815): he ran through my sliding door (1-815): in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers http://tfl.nu/3l97
  Replies (5) Good night (2318) Bad night (618)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.

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  (901): I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off. http://tfl.nu/oaek
  Replies (6) Good night (1437) Bad night (549)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.

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  (612): Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C. http://tfl.nu/wowt
  Replies (2) Good night (887) Bad night (827)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.

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  (202): I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock. http://tfl.nu/3k5c
  Replies (5) Good night (913) Bad night (339)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.

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  (540): The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness. http://tfl.nu/p6k2
  Replies (0) Good night (406) Bad night (302)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT

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  (804): Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT http://tfl.nu/kgfg
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (317)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.

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  (812): I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least. http://tfl.nu/mb2n
  Replies (4) Good night (358) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.

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  (940): See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks. http://tfl.nu/9nre
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.

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  (612): I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous. http://tfl.nu/xebi
  Replies (6) Good night (884) Bad night (226)

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