are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i've created a new STD.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
