Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes

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  (908): wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes http://tfl.nu/2bzs
  Replies (59) Good night (746) Bad night (5172)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes

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  (717): apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes http://tfl.nu/cx0j
  Replies (6) Good night (673) Bad night (2796)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.

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  (614): Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends. http://tfl.nu/odrr
  Replies (19) Good night (879) Bad night (5665)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.

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  (905): MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it. http://tfl.nu/mzwz
  Replies (40) Good night (5541) Bad night (1658)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."

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  (512): She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not." http://tfl.nu/pkrm
  Replies (18) Good night (6408) Bad night (1498)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.

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  (617): Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero. http://tfl.nu/4xtx
  Replies (33) Good night (1851) Bad night (5158)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.

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  (609): you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off. http://tfl.nu/5lgs
  Replies (13) Good night (2204) Bad night (3940)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.

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  (325): Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms. http://tfl.nu/9ede
  Replies (8) Good night (3586) Bad night (908)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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  (201): MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. http://tfl.nu/cgk3
  Replies (8) Good night (3489) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  How's your threesome situation going?

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Optimistic

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  (401): How's your threesome situation going? (1-401): Optimistic http://tfl.nu/dkbu
  Replies (3) Good night (1826) Bad night (553)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person

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  (772): The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person http://tfl.nu/qxco
  Replies (1) Good night (1059) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like

  (972): View more from Texas

  Why do you text me weird shit like this?

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  (214): True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like (972): Why do you text me weird shit like this? http://tfl.nu/hcc5
  Replies (5) Good night (1225) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off

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  (807): I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off http://tfl.nu/3ozb
  Replies (0) Good night (635) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with

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  (905): I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with http://tfl.nu/izq7
  Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.

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  (205): I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair. http://tfl.nu/08mb
  Replies (0) Good night (210) Bad night (334)

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