Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.

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(623): View more from Arizona

and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(480): View more from Arizona

He was uncircumcised

(480): View more from Arizona

It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis

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(937): View more from Ohio

Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.

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