Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  You make homosexuality sound like a cult.

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  (925): You make homosexuality sound like a cult. http://tfl.nu/swwi
  Replies (20) Good night (1098) Bad night (2852)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).

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  (812): At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling. (1-812): Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h). http://tfl.nu/pr6e
  Replies (23) Good night (960) Bad night (2872)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  What is a GED?

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  (208): Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly (1-208): What is a GED? http://tfl.nu/qgi3
  Replies (47) Good night (1085) Bad night (10021)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.

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  (507): I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is. http://tfl.nu/v0y7
  Replies (9) Good night (999) Bad night (2746)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.

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  (712): i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm. http://tfl.nu/clwu
  Replies (8) Good night (3758) Bad night (1047)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.

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  (303): She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before. http://tfl.nu/yrqt
  Replies (82) Good night (9563) Bad night (1388)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.

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  (732): It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that. http://tfl.nu/ljyh
  Replies (12) Good night (1004) Bad night (4302)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them

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  (307): If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them http://tfl.nu/vjhk
  Replies (13) Good night (4668) Bad night (856)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.

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  (254): I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me. http://tfl.nu/dyjh
  Replies (8) Good night (3643) Bad night (1083)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi

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  (412): just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi http://tfl.nu/nlgm
  Replies (4) Good night (733) Bad night (2233)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.

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  (334): I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line. http://tfl.nu/l1fz
  Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (1007)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.

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  (616): Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy. http://tfl.nu/lqb9
  Replies (5) Good night (1460) Bad night (663)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.

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  (218): I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over. http://tfl.nu/5car
  Replies (4) Good night (1643) Bad night (409)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.

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  (785): I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked. http://tfl.nu/il94
  Replies (1) Good night (556) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.

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  (207): Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg. http://tfl.nu/550i
  Replies (3) Good night (641) Bad night (414)

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