Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
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He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
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Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.