Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work. http://tfl.nu/ms2h
  Replies (12) Good night (528) Bad night (2081)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers. http://tfl.nu/za5f
  Replies (37) Good night (2821) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets. http://tfl.nu/lw2y
  Replies (6) Good night (3247) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out? http://tfl.nu/i8pt
  Replies (5) Good night (748) Bad night (4027)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo. http://tfl.nu/6eag
  Replies (37) Good night (4482) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list. http://tfl.nu/l7yl
  Replies (15) Good night (4833) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load" http://tfl.nu/n15m
  Replies (20) Good night (4997) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers http://tfl.nu/xy1w
  Replies (9) Good night (1024) Bad night (2126)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night. http://tfl.nu/5kyl
  Replies (36) Good night (6678) Bad night (2348)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it. http://tfl.nu/3bav
  Replies (5) Good night (964) Bad night (1497)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  She really is something else.

  (713): View more from Texas

  Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): She really is something else. (713): Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away. http://tfl.nu/3f56
  Replies (3) Good night (828) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is. http://tfl.nu/ytcu
  Replies (5) Good night (2601) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight! http://tfl.nu/qi7p
  Replies (3) Good night (692) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): That's always how I imagine things at your apartment... (541): Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here. http://tfl.nu/wx1r
  Replies (0) Good night (571) Bad night (217)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.

  (214): View more from Texas

  You need to calm down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time. (214): You need to calm down. http://tfl.nu/qlou
  Replies (1) Good night (633) Bad night (193)

Randomize