There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize