you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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