Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
