in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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