I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
