It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
