I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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