sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
