Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
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she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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