I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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