It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
