Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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