I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize