found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
