I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
